As a fellow woman, I know how nice it is to be treated to a date by a gentleman. This post is not meant to serve as a total dismissal of such generosity. Instead, I urge all women to at least insist on paying for their half of the date. I urge men to seek out women who make this offer. This act speaks wonders and really puts this “dating game” into proper perspective. With proper perspective, you will maneuver through your love life in a much more efficient manner.
What Happens When You EXPECT To Pay….
Besides conveying your self-sufficiency and responsibility, offering to pay for your half puts you into an “investment” mindset. When you expect to pay, you gain a better grasp of the money-time investment you put into a date. To gain something, you must give up something; this is a rule of life overlooked by many.
When your own money and time is involved, you will be much more selective with your dating pool. You will only choose to see people you are genuinely interested in, and since you will be spending your resources, you will be much more likely to test out your compatibility and chemistry before meeting in person. This means you will be more likely to make the most of pre-date conversations to really gauge whether or not you want to spend 3+ hours and a not insignificant amount of money getting to know them more.
By doing the above, you will either become more decisive and inquisitive, or your resources will suffer.
I know I sound extremely serious when writing this, but I assure you…I BELIEVE DATING SHOULD BE FUN. But if you want to have fun and develop a relationship with someone whose presence you genuinely enjoy, then you are going to have to put in a bit of work and exercise selectivity.
Dating is not only taxing in terms of money and time, it can also be emotionally taxing. If you go on a string of bad dates, you will most likely feel drained and you will lose at least a little faith in dating and relationships. Though you won’t be able to totally predict and avoid bad dates, you will most likely choose better dates by exercising decisiveness and putting thought into your interactions.
Your time, money, and emotions are being funnelled into your dating life; make sure you invest those resources wisely.
Men…Test Out Your Dates
Men are often expected to pay for the date. A great deal of men do exercise their generosity and I think that’s wonderful. I always offer to pay for half, and then I always ask if my date is sure they don’t want me to, and my date always pays. I’m always very grateful for that, and if I do date that man in the future, I’ll make sure to cover the tab down the line.
This is behaviour I urge all my male friends to look for. I tell them to only date women who at least offer to pay for their half. This kind of woman is considerate and appreciates your investment.
You may think…oh, maybe she’s too shy or feels awkward offering to pay.
I say….so what? Do you want to date someone who can not muster the courage to make that offer?
Ladies…if you feel awkward doing this…get over it. When your server drops of the bill, just reach for your wallet, pull out your card or cash, and asks your date if they want to go half.
If your date says no, you can ask them if they’re sure.
If they still say no, tell them that you appreciate it.
Dating is Transactional
Some of you might cringe at that statement, but its the truth. Dating is transactional. Your love life is a business relationship, and both of you want to profit. Your date or potential partner might have something to offer you and you might have something to offer them. If you work together and share resources wisely, you can create a great relationship that fulfills both of your wants and needs and forces you both to grow.
Many of us romanticize our love lives. This is cute and fun at first, but maintaining that attitude is incredibly naive. We’re all naive at some points in our lives, but we have to grow out of it. You have to analyze yourself, your partner, and the situation honestly and frequently in order to grow your relationship and create a sustainable and enjoyable partnership.
That starts off on date number 1. Make a good impression. Show your potential business partner that you have what it takes to build something great. Choose those potential partners wisely.
Ladies and gentlemen, do yourselves a favor and make your life easier. Adhere to this standard. Expect both parties to pay for their half of the date.