Many of us wonder if we are making the right choices in life. We torture ourselves over the possibilities, wondering if one decision will unleash a cascade of unwanted circumstances and wondering if another decision will allow us to experience heaven on earth and unlock the happiest of our dreams. The flaw in this kind of thinking is that in wondering if we are making the right choices in life, we fail to remember what drives us to make those choices.
Should we stay or should we go? Should we give this person a second chance or forget them completely? Should we leave our lives as we know it and embark on a fresh start?
In wondering about the validity of our choices, we approach our lives indirectly. We become a slave to our pre-conceptualized understandings of possibility. We become a slave to the set of feelings that we believe our set of choices will create.
Instead of feeling first, we choose first. We don’t choose how we feel, we just choose actions. Our feelings merely become a consequence of our actions instead of our actions becoming a consequence of our feelings. To really create a happy life and make the choices that are aligned with what you want, you need to feel first and act after.
Choosing how you feel puts you into the most beneficial position to make the choices that align with what you further want to feel. You have to feel good first. You have to reach inside and explore your insides and allow yourself to shift into a space that feels good, or else you operate as a slave to your feelings that resulted from actions that resulted from other actions and you are a slave to your actions and your actions are a master over your feelings.
When you choose to feel good, you flow through life with ease. Your being is much easier and much more open- you have a softer focus on the big picture which allows you to see the small details with much more clarity. When you feel good, you weigh your options with more possibility- you don’t feel trapped. You make decisions that are good for you because when you feel good because you choose to feel good instead of feeling good because of something someone said to you or because your partner has been acting in a way that pleases you or because your boss complimented you this morning, then your actions will come from a place of self assurance and self power. When you make yourself feel good, you exercise your ability to create the life you want instead of allowing the external world to dictate your inner world.
To feel good, all you need to do is release. Allow yourself to feel at ease, listen to your body, don’t ignore what it says to you. Ease into your being, untense yourself, release all of the tension and contractions you’ve accumulated. To shift into a place of feeling good, open your heart and relax your mind and breathe deeply. Allow yourself to feel easy.
Once you are in a space of feeling good, then you can decide what actions to take and you can make those action with intention. With every choice you make, you intend something to correlate to that choice. Its like waking up and instead of just allowing your day to be shaped by default and usually external circumstances or internal, mindless habits, you set aside some time to feel good and you tell yourself that you intend to wake up and enjoy the process of waking up and enjoy the process of walking into the kitchen that you’re grateful you can walk into and that you will enjoy the process of turning on your coffee pot and you will enjoy the coffee that is really such a blessing and delight to have and you will taste that coffee and allow yourself to really notice and be with that coffee and you will enjoy opening your mind and body so that they can connect and you will enjoy listening to any urgings your body has to guide you on the path of health. And you can make these intentions for any part of your day- you will enjoy the process of driving to work and listening to your favorite station. You will enjoy the process of deciding what to have for lunch and going out there and getting it. You will enjoy this breath and you will enjoy exploring how deeply your lungs can take in the air and you will enjoy how much of a relief a slow exhale can bring.
We need to place importance on all of our choices. When we live life more deliberately, those seemingly little choices add up. Its like the difference between north and south. If you are facing south and want to get north, every little degree that adds up to 180 gets you there. And making 1 or 2 degree turns is much easier than making a 180 degree turn for most of us. Its much easier to enjoy and align with the experience of really enjoying a shower or really enjoying the process of cooking a healthy meal than it is with enjoying the process of breaking up an old relationship. We can enjoy the process of breaking up an old relationship, but to do so we can’t just put it all into one action- its a series of moments and feelings- a huge degree turn made of smaller degrees that we have to be able to recognize.
We have to recognize those little turns in our life and we have to make those turns from a place of feeling good. We have to feel good first and then move, or else we just move through life and take what we can get.
So if you are trying to make a huge major life decision right now, don’t make it right now. Make small life decisions right now. Read this article more slowly again from a place of feeling good. Feel the delightful tapping of your keyboard. Enjoy and adore your next glass of water. Enjoy the process of identifying any aches and tensions in your body if they come up and stretch them out deliciously. Relax, relax, relax, relax. Breathe deeply, enjoy this breath, get to know this breath, get to love this breath, feel and taste and intimately discover the air moving through your lungs.
All the best,